I Burned Out As A Running Coach While Doing Everything Right Ep. 186

I burned out… as a running coach.

In Part 1 of this 3-part series, I’m getting real about how pushing too hard, saying yes to everything, and chasing “more” nearly broke me. What looked like discipline on the outside was actually exhaustion underneath and my body started to tell the truth before I was ready to hear it.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing all the right things but still running on empty… this one’s for you.

Transcript

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Welcome to Ella Go. My name is Lisa, and this is not just a podcast about running. This is a podcast to empower women through fitness and health and everything in between. Because let's be honest, ladies, this journey could suck if we don't get our shit together. Okay, we are finally here. Welcome back to the ELEGO podcast. My name is Lisa. I am your host. And if you're listening to this, you're probably thinking, where the fuck have you been? Um, I've been busy. I've been really busy. The podcast has been put or was put into a hiatus, and um I got busy. And I would not say busy good, okay? Because today I'm gonna talk about my burnout story. I'm gonna kick off this season's podcast with my burnout story. And it's such a good story because I think that a lot of women experience burnout, but don't say anything because we are expected to do everything for everyone. And mind you, we can't even feel comfortable enough or safe enough to tell other women about our burnout because even they will be critical of you. So let's get to it, okay? Everyone talks about burnout like it happens to people who stop trying. Um, that wasn't me. I was training for a marathon, I was coaching women for races, I was working a full-time job, I was raising a daughter, I was running a home from the outside. I looked disciplined, consistent, strong. But behind the scenes, I was a big old mess. I was exhausted, I was stretched thin and quietly running myself into the ground. And the truth is, is that I didn't burn out because I was doing nothing. I burned out because I was doing everything for everyone without ever stopping to ask what it was costing me. So last year my life looked like what most people would call on track. I had goals, I had structure. Well, I thought I had structure. I had people depending on me. I was training for a marathon. I mean, if you've been following me from the get, you know I talk about my marathon that I did not finish. Uh, I stopped at what is it, 19 miles, and I burned out from that whole training. Training for a marathon is no freaking joke. Especially if you have kids, especially if you're a single mom, you really have to put the commitment, but not only that, everything needs to be in place to take care of your kids, to take care of the home, to take care of your dogs if you have dogs, to take care of your job. It's a lot. So I was trained for a marathon. So I had my own running schedule to follow. And at the same time, which I really feel like was probably the biggest mistake, is that I was coaching women who are training for those races as well. Which meant I wasn't just responsible for my training, I was carrying theirs too. And then on top of that, I had my full-time job. I am a single mom. I'm running a household. I have two very needy dogs who are fucking crazy. So when I look back now, it's almost like, how did I think I could sustain all that without something giving? So that's what it looked like. I thought I was doing everything I needed to do. And I was doing too much. So here's the thing about burnout: it doesn't show up all at once. It's very subtle. It's answering one more message when you're already tired. It's saying yes when you don't really have the capacity. It's giving a little extra time, a little extra support because you care. And that's exactly what I was doing. I was always available, always responding to the text messages, always showing up. And I didn't realize it at the time, but I was slowly crossing my own boundaries. Now, mind you, I'm a running life coach. So, what does that mean? I was helping women with their life stuff as well. So, this is the part that I had to really sit with. And it wasn't that people were asking too much. It's that I was giving more than I should have been giving without ever setting a boundary about it. No one told me about that. Like when you go into business, no one really talks about the boundaries. They don't talk about that, they talk about the hustle. How bad do you want it? You have to hustle. Okay. Nobody talks too much about your self-care. So no one forced me to do it. I chose it. And even in my business, I started noticing something. I was giving more access, more time, and more emotional energy, but I never adjusted what I was asking for in return. And that's not on someone else. That's on me. So all of that was happening. I was doing the life coaching, I was doing the running coaching, I was running little side groups here and there. And I slowly started feeling like, okay, maybe, you know, maybe I need more. Maybe I need something else. Maybe I need a little bit more help. Okay. Now, budget is tight. And although people are there to help you, you still need money for those people to help you. Like that's the God's honest truth. Okay. You want people to do your content, create creator or be do your content while you're training. You got to pay them. And nowadays, people want a full package. They're not looking for, okay, I'll help you, you know, this many hours. It's more like, here's a package. It's like, I'm not running that kind of business where I need that kind of time. Um, so to me, that's a waste of money. Um, and it wouldn't really, it doesn't, I'm a small business owner. It's not like I am like making huge revenues. And that was the other thing. I wasn't making huge revenues, okay? So, you know, for me to be able to put money into somebody helping me, that was not gonna happen. So I had to do it on my own. But I did think to myself, what if I had my own running coach? What if I had someone that would keep me accountable? It wasn't so much of telling me what I needed to do. And, you know, when I met this woman, I chose her for a reason because she had the same um way of coaching that I did. You know, we talked about the mind and body, the mind-body connection. She was very uh cognizant of that and wasn't your typical coach. So I chose her for that reason to, you know, she knew I was a coach. She knew I know I knew what I needed to do, and I just needed that accountability. And she was aware of that. So I hired a running coach to help me through this journey because I thought maybe that's what I needed. Now, through the course of all that, things started failing. Things started not working the way I wanted it to work. Um, and one of them being me. Um, my fatigue during the training was unfucking real. To the point where I was like, what is happening? Am I, is something wrong with me? Like, I couldn't get past, like, we got to the point where, you know, we're training, we're doing the training session, and we got to the point where I couldn't get past mile eight and nine. Mile eight and nine was like a fucking struggle. Like, this is not me. Why can't I get past mile eight and nine without struggling, without stopping? Now, mind you, this is in the middle of summer. It's hot as fuck. And there were some days that maybe I shouldn't have been out and I pushed myself. But I noticed the fatigue was unreal. So, okay, I need more sleep because honestly, I wasn't sleeping enough. My dogs wake me up at four in the morning like clockwork Monday through Monday. There is no time off with my dogs. Okay, so four o'clock in the morning, which means um I need to be sleeping, sleeping, not in bed, sleeping by eight and nine. And I was just getting into bed at night, eight. I was just getting into bed at eight and nine. So that wasn't good. Cause then sometimes I didn't get to sleep until 10 and maybe even 11, which is not good. So my fatigue was struggling. But in the meantime, I was like, well, maybe this is just part of the plan. You know, maybe this is just part of it. You know, this is new. I'm now in my 50s. I am at this point, I'm gonna say postmenopausal. You know, I've already gone through the transition. Um, I was already on HRT. And I'm thinking, well, this is part of the course. Like, okay, you're gonna be more tired than usual. As a mental health therapist, a former mental health therapist, never did I think to myself, ooh, could it be that I'm emotionally tired? No, never thought of that. I just thought, okay, it's menopause, postmenopausal. Maybe that's why I'm fatigued, and maybe that's why I'm so fucking tired. Um, not once did I think that it was my emotional stress. Okay. I was giving, giving, giving to everyone, and everyone expected me to show up. No fault to them. I mean, I'm the I'm the running coach. That's what I'm supposed to do. Okay. But slowly and surely, me feeling physically tired was not just being physically tired. I was mentally drained. Um, I was emotionally stretched. I started feeling overwhelmed in a way that did not go away with rest. So even on the days that I got a good night's rest, it didn't go away. But not for nothing. One, eight hours of rest is not going to take care of the hundreds of hours that I didn't get good rest. It doesn't work that way. It's like you can't just say, oh, I'm gonna sleep and I'm gonna have a really great night or even a great couple of days, and that should do it. No, we're talking that I was very much sleep deprived. Okay. So why didn't I? So why didn't I stop? I didn't stop. I ignored it. I was like, no, I have to do this. I'm expected to do this. I want to run this business, and now I I'm, you know, I'm training people for marathons, I'm training people for half marathons, I'm expected to do this. What I'm gonna do, stop and say, no, I can't help you anymore. Um, I ignored it. I ignored my body. My body was talking to me. I ignored it because I told myself, this is what it takes. This is what it takes to be a business owner, Lisa. This is what it takes to be a running coach. You gotta go, go, and go. And this is what being disciplined looks like. This is what building something looks like. But here's what I didn't realize. Burnout doesn't care how disciplined you are, it doesn't care how strong you are. It doesn't care how good your intentions are. If you keep overriding your body, your mind, your capacity, eventually it will force you to stop. And for me, that's exactly what happened. And we're gonna talk more about that on the second part of this. And there's more. So I'm gonna stop right there because there's more to this story, but I wanted to give you a sense of how it all began. And oh, but wait, there's more. Believe me, there's more. So I put this into a three-part series. This is the first part. Um, but we will definitely get into it in part two and three. So for now, I'm gonna stop right there. So if you've ever felt like you're doing everything right, you're showing up, you're being consistent, you're holding it all together. But underneath that, you feel exhausted, stretched, thin, or just off. This is where burnout starts, not in the breakdown. It doesn't start when you start breaking down, it starts in the buildup. And in the next episode, I'm gonna tell you what happened when my body said, we're done, girl. Okay, we are done. Because what came next, I didn't see it coming, and it literally scared the hell out of me. So if this episode hits you, if you're in a season where life feels heavy, overwhelming, or just too much, you're not alone. Make sure you follow the Eligo podcast, share this with someone who needs it, and if this resonated with you, I'd love to hear from you. And until next time, bye.